tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize