I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
