Your dad touched me again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
