And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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