I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I died a long time ago.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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