finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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