I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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