It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
