the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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