Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
