I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
