It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
