The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
