I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
