we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
