Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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