Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Found the puke drawer
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
