And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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