Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
