there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
