after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
