also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
