I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
