apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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