I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
