Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize