Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
