it wasn't lemon gatorade
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
