I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who died my cat blue again?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
