She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
