Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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