So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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