Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
