haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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