We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
