So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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