i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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