After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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