Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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