hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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