She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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