how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
