Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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