what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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