Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
