Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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