nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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