all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
