Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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