the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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