bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
