I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ttyl tear gas
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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