you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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