CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
where are my eyebrows?
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