Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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