I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
