You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
