im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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