the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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