her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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